Big City Bride
Sarah & Will
Event Planner: Big City Bride
Venue: Bridgeport Art Center
Photography: Studio This Is
Floral & Décor: Kehoe Designs
Cake & Sweets: Alliance Bakery
Stationery: Minted
Event Planner: Big City Bride
Venue: Bridgeport Art Center
Photography: Studio This Is
Floral & Décor: Kehoe Designs
Cake & Sweets: Alliance Bakery
Stationery: Minted
Floral & Décor: Avant Gardenia
Event Planner: Rachael Steacy Events
Venue: Pazzo’s at 311
Photography: Kristin Bernice Photography for Cage + Aquarium
Cake: Sweet Ali’s Gluten Free Bakery
Stationery: Minted
Event Planner: Sarah Kathleen Events
Floral & Décor: Event Floral
Venue: The Pavilion at Orchard Ridge Farms
Photography: Palette of Light Photography
Cake & Sweets: Delish Cakes
Stationery: Minted
Event Planner: The Gilded Aisle
Venue: The InterContinental Chicago Magnificent Mile
Photography: KYLE JOHN Photography
Stationery: Fiore Press
Floral & Décor: Designs by Jodi
Cake: Bittersweet
If you’re still buzzing from your engagement high, there’s a good chance you have not given your wedding stationery a great deal of thought yet. sure, you know the invitations will have to go out at some point. But that should be easy enough – after all, your guests just need to know the when and where of your Big Day, right? If only it were that simple. Believe it or not, there’s more to wedding stationery than just slapping some information on your save-the-dates.
It’s time to demystify this crucial component of your wedding planning so that you are set up for success from the moment you put your first stamp on your
save-the-dates until you sign the last of your thank-you notes.
Why put so much time and effort into your wedding stationery? For starters, it’s a precious memento you’re likely to keep for the rest of your married life. It is usually the first major completed milestone in your planning process, as well as one of the last remaining souvenirs after the dust from your wedding finally settles. You want your invitations to be a true reflection of your personalities as well as set the tone of your wedding celebration.
Your invitation suite is the very first element of your wedding that your guests will experience. You want to make a good impression. From the moment they open the envelope, your guests will already be forming ideas about what your wedding will be like. In other words, your guests will take a lot of their cues from the kind of stationery you send them. Stylized script with a sophisticated flourish? They are bound to think formal. Distressed paper with floral prints and twine? Probably going to guess shabby chic. Your stationery can help clue your guests in about what they should wear, or even their gift choice. Let the colors and themes of your wedding help guide your design.
Start thinking about how big your guest list is going to be to get an idea of how much stationery you will realistically need. But remember, the number of invites you send out is not equal to the number on your guest list. You will probably have a great deal of families and couples that only need one invitation per household.
Keep in mind, it’s a good idea to have at least five to ten extra invitations on standby. You never know when you might wake up one night in a cold sweat with the sinking realization that you completely forgot to invite dear Aunt Martha up in Minnesota. If such an occasion arises, those extra invitations will be a lifesaver. But apart from any last-minute stragglers, you will also want to make sure you have a few copies of your stationery suite to save for yourself. When your wedding day finally arrives, don’t forget to grab one to be photographed at your venue!
While you might be chomping at the bit to get your stationery suite underway, you’re probably wondering when exactly you should get the ball rolling. Traditionally, save-the-dates are sent out eight to twelve months before the wedding date. Invitations are typically mailed about eight to ten weeks before
the wedding – but this is not a hard and fast rule. Consult your vendors to see when they will need a final headcount, and then tack on a few extra weeks to give yourself some leeway. As much as we would all love for people to RSVP on time, chances are you’ll have to do some last-minute following up with some of your less punctual guests. When you finally send out your invitations, consider any holidays that might slow down delivery. You might have to bump back your mail-out date to make sure your invitations arrive on time. The same applies to guests who live abroad.
The shining star of your wedding stationery, the invitation suite is a package that includes the design of your invitation as well as all of the little details that
make them uniquely beautiful (every tie, every ribbon, and every stroke of the fountain pen). Your invitation suite includes an outer envelope, many times
an unsealed inner envelope, the invitation, a details card, a response card, and a response card envelope. Additional materials like printed maps, menu cards, and hotel information can also be included in your suite. It can be a bit overwhelming, so let’s break down the basics.
• Envelope – Use an outer and inner envelope to identify the invited guests.
• Invitation – Indicate the who, what, when, and where of your Big Day.
• Details Card – Include your accommodation information, wedding website, and additional guest information. Split into multiple cards, if needed.
• Response Card – Give guests a way to RSVP to your wedding. It can also be used to gather dinner selections and the number of guests attending from each household.
• Response Card Envelope – Include postage for guests and host’s address on the envelope. You want to make sure your guests can reply to your Big Day as easy as possible.
Once you’ve got your invitation suite ready to drop in the mail, there are a few other elements you will want to think about to round out your wedding stationery. These elements include your ceremony programs, table cards, seating chart, menus, favor tags, as well as your thank-you notes. Work with your stationer to keep your overall look and design consistent throughout your Big Day.
Although it may seem like a tedious task, it’s incredibly important to send a thank-you note to all of your guests no more than three months after your celebration. These should be personalized, handwritten notes to show your love and appreciation for everyone who made your wedding such a special event. Take this time to thank everyone individually not only for their kind gifts, but also for all the amazing memories they helped you make.
Hand-writing every single thank-you note may sound like an endless endeavor, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Try carving out a time each week after your wedding when you can get a handful of them completed. Writing them in increments will be much easier than trying to get them done in one fell swoop. You might even turn an otherwise dull job into a sweet activity to do with your new spouse over Saturday morning coffee.
While there is a lot involved in creating your wedding stationery, the process doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Find a professional stationer who can give you the customized invitation suite you envisioned. He or she will guide you through the process from concept to delivery. Set yourself up for success by getting a head start, take things one step at a time, and you’ll be sure to get your guests’ seal of approval.
The rules that accompany wedding invitation etiquette can be complex. In order to make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s, we have partnered with our experts to provide the proper do’s and don’ts that go along with save-the-dates, invitations, and thank-you notes.
DO:
• Do send save-the-date cards six to eight months before your wedding. If you are planning on having a destination affair, informing your guests earlier is always appreciated so that appropriate travel arrangements can be made.
• Do send wedding invitations at least eight weeks prior to your Big Day. Eight weeks provides guests ample time to RSVP as well as time for you to receive a headcount for planning purposes.
• Do work closely with a stationer who understands your vision for not only your invitation suite, but for your wedding day as a whole. This is often referred to as ‘branding’ your wedding. Your invitation suite should have one cohesive look that provides guests with an idea of the look, feel, and style of your wedding. Think of your invitation as a preview for the main event. Still unsure of the look you want to achieve for your wedding day? Stationers have a portfolio of their work that can be used to gain inspiration about potential color combinations and themes.
• Do utilize proper titles when addressing guests such as Ms., Mrs., Dr., or Mr.
• Do supply guests with the appropriate postage for the RSVP cards or envelopes. This task should never be left to the recipient.
• Do take a sample invitation to your local post office to verify if additional postage is required prior to mailing out invitations. Depending on the size and weight of your invitations, additional postage might be required. The last thing you want is to come home to a mailbox full of returned wedding invitations since the appropriate postage was not initially used.
• Do order the appropriate number of invitations. Many couples find themselves having to place multiple orders due to a miscount. By planning your guest list well in advance, you will avoid accruing unnecessary costs from multiple orders being placed.
• Do provide guests with directions and information regarding the ceremony and reception locations. Include maps, lodging, and dining information, as
well as an email address or telephone number of someone that can be contacted if necessary.
• Do express gratitude to your guests and wedding vendors by sending them handwritten thank-you notes after your wedding.
DON’T:
• Don’t send save-the-dates to guests unless you are certain that you will invite them to your wedding. Some venues have a maximum number of guests that can fit into their space. Confirm with your venue that their space fits your guest list prior to sending save-the-dates to avoid having to retract your invitation.
• Don’t use any form of mailing labels as this leaves guests with an extremely impersonal feeling. Handwrite your envelopes or, if handwriting isn’t your strongest suit, hire a calligrapher. Remember, your invitations are the first impression that guests are given of your wedding.
• Don’t offer multiple response options to your guests. Providing an email response, online RSVP, and a mailing card results in confusion which can
cause extra work for couples as they try to finalize their head count. Simplify the process and provide guests with one way to respond.
• Don’t be untidy. When placing the invitation suite into the envelope all elements should be on top of one another according to size with the smallest pieces in the front and the largest pieces in the back. Slide everything into the envelope with all text facing upwards so that when recipients open your invitation they will be able to read your invitation with ease.
• Don’t use abbreviations on the invitation or the envelope.
• Don’t email thank-you notes to your guests. Your family and friends spent the time not only picking out a gift to celebrate your Big Day, but also took
the time to celebrate with you. They deserve a handwritten note of appreciation within 12 weeks of your wedding.
Location: Loews Chicago Hotel
Photography: Rick Aguilar Studios
Styling: The Wedding Dresser
Hair: Zazú Salon
Makeup: Bridal Brigade
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The Team:
Planner/Stylist: Glamour & Lace
Floral & Décor: Kensington Florals & Events
Cake & Sweets: Amy Beck Cake Design
Stationery: Amore Creative
Rentals: Hall’s Rental; Marquee Event Rentals
Venue: Chicago Public Library – Harold Washington Library Center
Photography: Ashley Galminas Photography
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The Team:
Planner/Stylist: Preoccupied Bride
Floral & Décor: Flora Elements
Cake & Sweets: The Bakester Patisserie
Stationery: EJD Design
Rentals: Dish & Décor Vintage Rental; Windy City Linen
Venue: Pinstripes – Northbrook
Photography: Ashley Galminas Photography
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The Team:
Planner/Stylist: Lillian Rose Events
Floral & Décor: Phillip’s Flowers – Elmhurst
Cake & Sweets: Vanille Patisserie
Stationery: MAXE Designs
Rentals: BBJ Linen; Dish & Décor Vintage Rental
Venue: Venue SIX10
Photography: Ashley Galminas Photography
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The Team:
Planner/Stylist: Wedicity Wedding & Event Detailing
Floral & Décor: Artistic Blooms
Cake & Sweets: The Quintessential Cake
Stationery: Coqui Paperie
Rentals: BBJ Linen; Marquee Event Rentals
Venue: Odyssey Chicago River
Photography: Ashley Galminas Photography
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Stage fright walking down the aisle, that weird thing your hair is doing, or the weather forecast gone awry, these are just some of the factors that can induce wedding day anxiety. The good news is, there are tons of tips and tricks for keeping it together when you start to feel totally overwhelmed.
In your day-of bridal survival kit, consider tossing in a small bottle of lavender essential oil. lavender oil has long been studied for its calming properties, helping to eliminate
anxiety and soothe stress. a couple of drops on the inside of your wrists or on the soles of your dance-fatigued feet, followed by some deep breathing, can totally Zen you out in a pinch.
Planning for plan B isn’t easy. You had your heart set on first-look photographs outdoors and it’s pouring rain. now what? A great wedding planner (or a bestie who’s been there) can help you plan for plan B, before the wedding. That way, you will have a solution on hand, one that will keep your day from going totally off the rails.
Do you keep missing the tray of mini quiche appetizers because yet another cousin has pulled you aside to say hi? While making your guests feel welcome is critical wedding day etiquette, you’re also entitled to a break from the chit-chat. Having a member of your bridal party nearby will give you time to relax and refuel for a second wind.
Feeling like you have not had enough one-on-one time with your new spouse? Give the DJ a heads up that you would like to take things down a notch for a couple of songs. Take advantage of this time to reconnect with one another, even if it’s just for three minutes to waltz to “When a man loves a Woman”. For a day dedicated to celebrating the two of
you, surprisingly, you see very little of each other once the festivities begin.
Normally, an extra glass of wine or two, to help you unwind after a long day is entirely fair game. But, if you find yourself repeatedly hitting the open bar to relieve that wedding day anxiety, you might want to think twice. From being too buzzed to appreciate memorable moments to getting a little sloppier than intended, using the open bar as your anxiety outlet is probably best avoided. save those celebratory sips for the honeymoon.
While every couple’s wedding is unique, when it comes to planning the Big Day, it often seems that a large amount of focus and energy goes toward planning the perfect reception. Of course, the reception and all of its intricacies are indeed a big undertaking – but it’s only one part of your wedding day. The reception is a celebration of the
ceremony that precedes it, and planning the ceremony takes time and effort as well. As you work toward putting together your perfect day, consider these seven key ceremony aspects.
Many ceremonies have a pretty standard set-up: the couple and officiant are up front, the bridal party is on either side, and the guests are seated in rows (with an aisle in-between). But that doesn’t mean every ceremony looks that way. Depending on your venue, the layout might be slightly different. Make sure you discuss with your wedding planner or the venue manager exactly how everything will look. Some questions you may consider asking include: Where will you and your officiant stand? Will you be on a platform elevated slightly above your guests, or on the same level? Where will your bridal party stand or sit? Where will your guests sit? Will everyone be able to see the action?
It’s worth having a conversation with your photographer and videographer once you have a concept of the layout, so they can ensure they’ll be able to get the photographs they need.
If you’re following a fairly traditional ceremony (such as a religious one), the length may be dictated by the predetermined elements of that ceremony. If not, it’s a good idea to consider how long you ideally want your ceremony to last before figuring out the individual parts of it. Do you want it to be a short and sweet 20 minutes and get your guests quickly to cocktail hour? Or do you want to take more time – perhaps 45 minutes to an hour – to incorporate more components that are important to you? Keep in mind that the length of the ceremony affects the rest of your schedule as well. When deciding on ceremony length, try mapping out a rough itinerary for the day, working backward from your reception. If the ceremony is 45 minutes, for example, what time will you need to start in order to get you and your guests to the reception on time? If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, what time will you need to start to ensure the cocktail hour starts on time?
If you are putting together your ceremony without following a predetermined layout, it’s up to you to decide the order of events. Some of the most traditional elements of a ceremony include the processional, the officiant’s greeting and message to the couple, the declaration of intent, the readings, the vows, the exchange of rings, the pronouncement of marriage, the kiss, and the recessional. There are of course certain components that clearly fit into certain spots, but you have some freedom with the order of the ceremony, after all, it’s your ceremony. While you may find that plenty of couples do the declaration of intent immediately before the vows, for example, it’s completely fine to swap those two, or include a reading in between. You can intersperse a few readings throughout the ceremony or have them read consecutively. Try “storyboarding”
the ceremony: write each element on a small piece of paper, lay them out in order, and then play around with them until you find something that feels right for you and your fiancé.
One of the most fun parts of planning your ceremony is deciding what elements you’ll include. Again, there are plenty of traditional components to a wedding ceremony, but you can decide which of those to use and not use, as well as any additional “events” you may fancy. The decisions can be based on whether the ceremony is religious, non-denominational, or perhaps a fusion of two different cultures. The ceremony can be based on what speaks to you and what best represents you as a couple. For example, you may want to include a memorial to loved ones, a thank you to your guests, a “Blessing of the Hands,” or a musical performance, the options are limitless.
Customize the content and wording of your Big Day as you would like. Don’t feel constrained to only the most common wedding readings. For example, if you want someone to recite the lyrics of your favorite song, go for it! And when it comes to things like the declaration of intent, there are many variations your officiant can use leading up to the “I do”. Browse online and find versions that really speak to you. Many people choose to incorporate a mini “unity ceremony” within the larger ceremony. If you go that route, consider what style of unity ceremony you would like – such as mixing two different colors of sand into one glass vase or using two separate candles to light one unity
candle simultaneously.
There are a few things to think about when it comes to ceremony music. First, decide where you want music to be incorporated into your ceremony. Will it only be during the processional and recessional? Do you want anything to play softly in the background of events like the unity ceremony or ring exchange? Do you want to include a vocal or
instrumental performance in the middle? Once you’ve made those decisions, you can move on to choosing the tunes and how the music will be played (such as live instrumentals via a string quartet or harp, a live vocalist, or recordings played over a speaker). If you’re working with a musician, they can likely play you some samples and help you decide what direction to go with your song selections.
The participants include the usual suspects: you, your future spouse, and your officiant, of course. But, who else will be involved in your ceremony? What roles will your bridal party play in the ceremony? Will they stand the entire time on either side of you or will they sit in the front row? Are there any additional tasks you need to assign them (like holding bouquets or rings)? Beyond bridesmaids and groomsmen, consider how you might incorporate other important people into your ceremony. Perhaps you’ll have two parents light the individual candles ahead of the unity ceremony or ask a close friend to do a reading.
Think about what types of physical elements to include in your ceremony. Will you get married under a chuppah or wedding canopy? If so, plan ahead to secure the purchase or rental of one along with any additional components, like silk draping or an additional floral display. Don’t forget to confirm the logistics of delivery, set up, and break down. Then, there are the smaller things such as an aisle runner, a microphone, and a table for the unity ceremony. Many items like candles, chairs for your musicians, programs, as well as a card box may seem like small details that can be figured out last minute, but those small details can add up to big headaches when you’re trying to take care of them the week of your wedding. Get ahead of it by making a list early on, checking off when you acquire the items, and then delegating the plan to get each piece to the ceremony on time.
Setting up the wedding gift registry might be every engaged couple’s single favorite part of wedding planning. Except, maybe, for cake tasting! And honestly, who can
blame you? You’re basically shopping for all those splurge-worthy items you have always wanted but never really needed, without actually spending any money yourself. Plus, if you rock it old school (aka: actually register for gifts in a store, in person) you get to use one of those super-fun barcode scanners. If you’ve never done this before, wielding a barcode scanner comes with a surprisingly exhilarating sense of power, use it wisely.
But like every other element of wedding planning and prep, setting up your wedding registry comes with its fair share of etiquette, and some helpful guidance to go with it. Here are seven things to keep in mind while setting up your wedding registry – guaranteed to keep you and your gift-giving guests happy.
Before you even start to put together that gift registry, really think about who you’re inviting to your wedding, and plan your wish list accordingly. Be sure to have a few big-ticket items for those folks who you know are going to want to splurge on you, while also being courteous of anyone like your old college roommate and those co-workers still paying off student loans who might be operating with a more modest budget. The bulk of your registry items should fall somewhere in the middle of your highest price point
and your lowest – and a good rule of thumb is to expect guests to spend around the same amount of dough as you are budgeting per-head for your Big Day, give or take.
Naturally, if most of your guests live locally and will have minimal travel expenses, they’re going to have more to offer in the gift-giving department. If you are asking your guests to venture across the country – or even around the world – to attend your (undoubtedly, fabulous) destination wedding, keep that in mind when you’re registering for gifts. Make sure your expectations take into account what your gracious guests will already be spending just to attend your wedding – both in travel costs and in any time they might need to take away from work. Also make sure you set up your registry so that everything is delivered directly to your home address (or wherever you want all your gifts to go). No one wants to transport a Crock-Pot across 3,000 miles, only to have you transport it right back.
I once gifted a soon-to-be-wedded girlfriend a dozen napkin rings, 18 napkins, 6 place settings in one pattern, 3 place settings in another, a soup ladle, and the lid to a butter dish. This was not by design. The folks who had gotten to her registry before me had completely ransacked it – buying a couple of plates here, a few table linens there, a butter dish (sans lid), without any rhyme or reason that I could discern, based on the chaos that was left behind. Now, I understand if you’re registering at one of those housewares stores where everything comes with its own barcode, it can be hard to keep your registry orderly. (Plus, nobody wants to stress over being their own gift registry police when they’ve got an entire wedding to finish planning). But, if possible, try to register for things in sets, and try to refrain from constantly editing the items on your registry throughout your engagement. It makes things very confusing (and unnecessarily embarrassing – see personal anecdote above) for your guests. Particularly those of us who are not especially adept at wrapping one half of a butter dish.
I speak from experience when I say if you have never, ever, felt the impulse to bake homemade bread in your life, marriage is not going to change that about you. Not now, probably not ever. Do not feel like you must register for items you will never use, just because it is a classic registry gift. Should you register for a bread maker and then actually receive one, you will most likely attempt to make said bread exactly one time, before you realize two things: 1.) you are not all that interested in baking homemade bread and 2.) you have now made it entirely impossible to return your shiny, brand new bread maker for something you will actually use and love. If the person who gifted you the bread maker is someone who regularly spends time at your house, you will be obligated to pull the bread maker out of the back of your pantry and place it on your kitchen counter every single time they come over. And bread makers, for anyone who hasn’t spent a lot of time moving them to and fro, are notoriously heavy. Know yourself, register for things you will actually use.
If you’ve always been interested in, say, brewing your own beer (or, you know, actually baking your own bread) then, by all means, your wedding registry is the opportunity to treat yourself to the pricier items you have had your eye on – with the added benefit of someone else’s budget.
…The gift box, that is. Although receiving eight blenders and a stash of sterling silver candlesticks you will (probably) never use has practically become the stuff of wedding cliché, that doesn’t mean you’re limited to filling your registry with items that can fit inside a standard gift box. Consider registering for experiences instead of, or in addition to, items to stock your home. Looking to take some of the financial stress out of your honeymoon? You might want to set up a fundraising page and ask your guests to contribute to your travel budget. You can make “experiential gifting” feel a little more personal than just writing a check by inviting your guests to put together a few fun date night goodie
bags for you and your new spouse. Instead of adding everything and the kitchen sink to your registry, you can also put together a shorter list of bigger ticket items (think camping gear, a couples’ wine tasting class, his-and-hers surfboards, etc.) and make sure your guests know they can pool their giving towards one larger item or experience
for the two of you. At the end of the day, your guests just want to give you something you’ll both love.
Have everything you could ever need and want, and a comfortable travel budget to boot? Consider using your wedding registry to pay your own hard work and good fortune forward. If there’s a charity you and your soon-to-be-wedded love, or a nonprofit near and dear to your hearts, invite your guests to make a donation in your names, in lieu of gifts. Giving back is definitely a great way to celebrate your new life together.
Written by Jennifer Matteo, Jennifer Matteo Event Planning
Let’s be real, who wants to run around on their wedding day feeling crazy, stressed and most likely remembering you forgot something along the way and you have no idea how to fix it? THIS is exactly why NOT to DIY your wedding. Your wedding day morning should be full with bride tribes and mimosa merriment while feeling totally pampered by the beauty pros who are making you oh-so-fabulous for your big reveal.
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