The Gilded Aisle

 

Mary Catherine & Matthew

Event Planner: The Gilded Aisle

Venue: The InterContinental Chicago Magnificent Mile

Photography: KYLE JOHN Photography

Stationery: Fiore Press

Floral & Décor: Designs by Jodi

Cake: Bittersweet

The Suite Life

A Rundown on All of Your Essential Wedding Stationery Needs

If you’re still buzzing from your engagement high, there’s a good chance you have not given your wedding stationery a great deal of thought yet. sure, you know the invitations will have to go out at some point. But that should be easy enough – after all, your guests just need to know the when and where of your Big Day, right? If only it were that simple. Believe it or not, there’s more to wedding stationery than just slapping some information on your save-the-dates.

It’s time to demystify this crucial component of your wedding planning so that you are set up for success from the moment you put your first stamp on your
save-the-dates until you sign the last of your thank-you notes.

What’s the Big Deal?

Why put so much time and effort into your wedding stationery? For starters, it’s a precious memento you’re likely to keep for the rest of your married life. It is usually the first major completed milestone in your planning process, as well as one of the last remaining souvenirs after the dust from your wedding finally settles. You want your invitations to be a true reflection of your personalities as well as set the tone of your wedding celebration.

Your invitation suite is the very first element of your wedding that your guests will experience. You want to make a good impression. From the moment they open the envelope, your guests will already be forming ideas about what your wedding will be like. In other words, your guests will take a lot of their cues from the kind of stationery you send them. Stylized script with a sophisticated flourish? They are bound to think formal. Distressed paper with floral prints and twine? Probably going to guess shabby chic. Your stationery can help clue your guests in about what they should wear, or even their gift choice. Let the colors and themes of your wedding help guide your design.

Invitations By the Numbers.

Start thinking about how big your guest list is going to be to get an idea of how much stationery you will realistically need. But remember, the number of invites you send out is not equal to the number on your guest list. You will probably have a great deal of families and couples that only need one invitation per household.

Keep in mind, it’s a good idea to have at least five to ten extra invitations on standby. You never know when you might wake up one night in a cold sweat with the sinking realization that you completely forgot to invite dear Aunt Martha up in Minnesota. If such an occasion arises, those extra invitations will be a lifesaver. But apart from any last-minute stragglers, you will also want to make sure you have a few copies of your stationery suite to save for yourself. When your wedding day finally arrives, don’t forget to grab one to be photographed at your venue!

Tackling the Timeline.

While you might be chomping at the bit to get your stationery suite underway, you’re probably wondering when exactly you should get the ball rolling. Traditionally, save-the-dates are sent out eight to twelve months before the wedding date. Invitations are typically mailed about eight to ten weeks before
the wedding – but this is not a hard and fast rule. Consult your vendors to see when they will need a final headcount, and then tack on a few extra weeks to give yourself some leeway. As much as we would all love for people to RSVP on time, chances are you’ll have to do some last-minute following up with some of your less punctual guests. When you finally send out your invitations, consider any holidays that might slow down delivery. You might have to bump back your mail-out date to make sure your invitations arrive on time. The same applies to guests who live abroad.

What’s Included?

The shining star of your wedding stationery, the invitation suite is a package that includes the design of your invitation as well as all of the little details that
make them uniquely beautiful (every tie, every ribbon, and every stroke of the fountain pen). Your invitation suite includes an outer envelope, many times
an unsealed inner envelope, the invitation, a details card, a response card, and a response card envelope. Additional materials like printed maps, menu cards, and hotel information can also be included in your suite. It can be a bit overwhelming, so let’s break down the basics.

• Envelope – Use an outer and inner envelope to identify the invited guests.
• Invitation – Indicate the who, what, when, and where of your Big Day.
• Details Card – Include your accommodation information, wedding website, and additional guest information. Split into multiple cards, if needed.
• Response Card – Give guests a way to RSVP to your wedding. It can also be used to gather dinner selections and the number of guests attending from each household.
• Response Card Envelope – Include postage for guests and host’s address on the envelope. You want to make sure your guests can reply to your Big Day as easy as possible.

Once you’ve got your invitation suite ready to drop in the mail, there are a few other elements you will want to think about to round out your wedding stationery. These elements include your ceremony programs, table cards, seating chart, menus, favor tags, as well as your thank-you notes. Work with your stationer to keep your overall look and design consistent throughout your Big Day.

Don’t Forget the Thank-Yous.

Although it may seem like a tedious task, it’s incredibly important to send a thank-you note to all of your guests no more than three months after your celebration. These should be personalized, handwritten notes to show your love and appreciation for everyone who made your wedding such a special event. Take this time to thank everyone individually not only for their kind gifts, but also for all the amazing memories they helped you make.

Hand-writing every single thank-you note may sound like an endless endeavor, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Try carving out a time each week after your wedding when you can get a handful of them completed. Writing them in increments will be much easier than trying to get them done in one fell swoop. You might even turn an otherwise dull job into a sweet activity to do with your new spouse over Saturday morning coffee.

While there is a lot involved in creating your wedding stationery, the process doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Find a professional stationer who can give you the customized invitation suite you envisioned. He or she will guide you through the process from concept to delivery. Set yourself up for success by getting a head start, take things one step at a time, and you’ll be sure to get your guests’ seal of approval.

 

Written by Micaela Fischer

You Are Cordially Invited

The rules that accompany wedding invitation etiquette can be complex. In order to make sure you dot your i’s and cross your t’s, we have partnered with our experts to provide the proper do’s and don’ts that go along with save-the-dates, invitations, and thank-you notes.

DO:
• Do send save-the-date cards six to eight months before your wedding. If you are planning on having a destination affair, informing your guests earlier is always appreciated so that appropriate travel arrangements can be made.
• Do send wedding invitations at least eight weeks prior to your Big Day. Eight weeks provides guests ample time to RSVP as well as time for you to receive a headcount for planning purposes.
• Do work closely with a stationer who understands your vision for not only your invitation suite, but for your wedding day as a whole. This is often referred to as ‘branding’ your wedding. Your invitation suite should have one cohesive look that provides guests with an idea of the look, feel, and style of your wedding. Think of your invitation as a preview for the main event. Still unsure of the look you want to achieve for your wedding day? Stationers have a portfolio of their work that can be used to gain inspiration about potential color combinations and themes.
• Do utilize proper titles when addressing guests such as Ms., Mrs., Dr., or Mr.
• Do supply guests with the appropriate postage for the RSVP cards or envelopes. This task should never be left to the recipient.
• Do take a sample invitation to your local post office to verify if additional postage is required prior to mailing out invitations. Depending on the size and weight of your invitations, additional postage might be required. The last thing you want is to come home to a mailbox full of returned wedding invitations since the appropriate postage was not initially used.
• Do order the appropriate number of invitations. Many couples find themselves having to place multiple orders due to a miscount. By planning your guest list well in advance, you will avoid accruing unnecessary costs from multiple orders being placed.
• Do provide guests with directions and information regarding the ceremony and reception locations. Include maps, lodging, and dining information, as
well as an email address or telephone number of someone that can be contacted if necessary.
• Do express gratitude to your guests and wedding vendors by sending them handwritten thank-you notes after your wedding.

DON’T:
• Don’t send save-the-dates to guests unless you are certain that you will invite them to your wedding. Some venues have a maximum number of guests that can fit into their space. Confirm with your venue that their space fits your guest list prior to sending save-the-dates to avoid having to retract your invitation.
• Don’t use any form of mailing labels as this leaves guests with an extremely impersonal feeling. Handwrite your envelopes or, if handwriting isn’t your strongest suit, hire a calligrapher. Remember, your invitations are the first impression that guests are given of your wedding.
• Don’t offer multiple response options to your guests. Providing an email response, online RSVP, and a mailing card results in confusion which can
cause extra work for couples as they try to finalize their head count. Simplify the process and provide guests with one way to respond.
• Don’t be untidy. When placing the invitation suite into the envelope all elements should be on top of one another according to size with the smallest pieces in the front and the largest pieces in the back. Slide everything into the envelope with all text facing upwards so that when recipients open your invitation they will be able to read your invitation with ease.
• Don’t use abbreviations on the invitation or the envelope.
• Don’t email thank-you notes to your guests. Your family and friends spent the time not only picking out a gift to celebrate your Big Day, but also took
the time to celebrate with you. They deserve a handwritten note of appreciation within 12 weeks of your wedding.

Day-Of Anxiety Relief

Tips and Tricks for When You Get Overwhelmed

Stage fright walking down the aisle, that weird thing your hair is doing, or the weather forecast gone awry, these are just some of the factors that can induce wedding day anxiety. The good news is, there are tons of tips and tricks for keeping it together when you start to feel totally overwhelmed.

A Little Lavender Goes A Long Way.

In your day-of bridal survival kit, consider tossing in a small bottle of lavender essential oil. lavender oil has long been studied for its calming properties, helping to eliminate
anxiety and soothe stress. a couple of drops on the inside of your wrists or on the soles of your dance-fatigued feet, followed by some deep breathing, can totally Zen you out in a pinch.

Plan for Plan B.

Planning for plan B isn’t easy. You had your heart set on first-look photographs outdoors and it’s pouring rain. now what? A great wedding planner (or a bestie who’s been there) can help you plan for plan B, before the wedding. That way, you will have a solution on hand, one that will keep your day from going totally off the rails.

Have A Member of Your Bridal Party on Call.

Do you keep missing the tray of mini quiche appetizers because yet another cousin has pulled you aside to say hi? While making your guests feel welcome is critical wedding day etiquette, you’re also entitled to a break from the chit-chat. Having a member of your bridal party nearby will give you time to relax and refuel for a second wind.

Have A Chat With The DJ.

Feeling like you have not had enough one-on-one time with your new spouse? Give the DJ a heads up that you would like to take things down a notch for a couple of songs. Take advantage of this time to reconnect with one another, even if it’s just for three minutes to waltz to “When a man loves a Woman”. For a day dedicated to celebrating the two of
you, surprisingly, you see very little of each other once the festivities begin.

Avoid That Impulse To Hit The Open Bar.

Normally, an extra glass of wine or two, to help you unwind after a long day is entirely fair game. But, if you find yourself repeatedly hitting the open bar to relieve that wedding day anxiety, you might want to think twice. From being too buzzed to appreciate memorable moments to getting a little sloppier than intended, using the open bar as your anxiety outlet is probably best avoided. save those celebratory sips for the honeymoon.

Ceremony Essentials

What to Plan Prior to Saying, “I Do!”

While every couple’s wedding is unique, when it comes to planning the Big Day, it often seems that a large amount of focus and energy goes toward planning the perfect reception. Of course, the reception and all of its intricacies are indeed a big undertaking – but it’s only one part of your wedding day. The reception is a celebration of the
ceremony that precedes it, and planning the ceremony takes time and effort as well. As you work toward putting together your perfect day, consider these seven key ceremony aspects.

1. The Angles.

Many ceremonies have a pretty standard set-up: the couple and officiant are up front, the bridal party is on either side, and the guests are seated in rows (with an aisle in-between). But that doesn’t mean every ceremony looks that way. Depending on your venue, the layout might be slightly different. Make sure you discuss with your wedding planner or the venue manager exactly how everything will look. Some questions you may consider asking include: Where will you and your officiant stand? Will you be on a platform elevated slightly above your guests, or on the same level? Where will your bridal party stand or sit? Where will your guests sit? Will everyone be able to see the action?
It’s worth having a conversation with your photographer and videographer once you have a concept of the layout, so they can ensure they’ll be able to get the photographs they need.

2. The Duration.

If you’re following a fairly traditional ceremony (such as a religious one), the length may be dictated by the predetermined elements of that ceremony. If not, it’s a good idea to consider how long you ideally want your ceremony to last before figuring out the individual parts of it. Do you want it to be a short and sweet 20 minutes and get your guests quickly to cocktail hour? Or do you want to take more time – perhaps 45 minutes to an hour – to incorporate more components that are important to you? Keep in mind that the length of the ceremony affects the rest of your schedule as well. When deciding on ceremony length, try mapping out a rough itinerary for the day, working backward from your reception. If the ceremony is 45 minutes, for example, what time will you need to start in order to get you and your guests to the reception on time? If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, what time will you need to start to ensure the cocktail hour starts on time?

3. The Order of Events.

If you are putting together your ceremony without following a predetermined layout, it’s up to you to decide the order of events. Some of the most traditional elements of a ceremony include the processional, the officiant’s greeting and message to the couple, the declaration of intent, the readings, the vows, the exchange of rings, the pronouncement of marriage, the kiss, and the recessional. There are of course certain components that clearly fit into certain spots, but you have some freedom with the order of the ceremony, after all, it’s your ceremony. While you may find that plenty of couples do the declaration of intent immediately before the vows, for example, it’s completely fine to swap those two, or include a reading in between. You can intersperse a few readings throughout the ceremony or have them read consecutively. Try “storyboarding”
the ceremony: write each element on a small piece of paper, lay them out in order, and then play around with them until you find something that feels right for you and your fiancé.

4. The Events Themselves.

One of the most fun parts of planning your ceremony is deciding what elements you’ll include. Again, there are plenty of traditional components to a wedding ceremony, but you can decide which of those to use and not use, as well as any additional “events” you may fancy. The decisions can be based on whether the ceremony is religious, non-denominational, or perhaps a fusion of two different cultures. The ceremony can be based on what speaks to you and what best represents you as a couple. For example, you may want to include a memorial to loved ones, a thank you to your guests, a “Blessing of the Hands,” or a musical performance, the options are limitless.

Customize the content and wording of your Big Day as you would like. Don’t feel constrained to only the most common wedding readings. For example, if you want someone to recite the lyrics of your favorite song, go for it! And when it comes to things like the declaration of intent, there are many variations your officiant can use leading up to the “I do”. Browse online and find versions that really speak to you. Many people choose to incorporate a mini “unity ceremony” within the larger ceremony. If you go that route, consider what style of unity ceremony you would like – such as mixing two different colors of sand into one glass vase or using two separate candles to light one unity
candle simultaneously.

5. The Music.

There are a few things to think about when it comes to ceremony music. First, decide where you want music to be incorporated into your ceremony. Will it only be during the processional and recessional? Do you want anything to play softly in the background of events like the unity ceremony or ring exchange? Do you want to include a vocal or
instrumental performance in the middle? Once you’ve made those decisions, you can move on to choosing the tunes and how the music will be played (such as live instrumentals via a string quartet or harp, a live vocalist, or recordings played over a speaker). If you’re working with a musician, they can likely play you some samples and help you decide what direction to go with your song selections.

6. The Participants.

The participants include the usual suspects: you, your future spouse, and your officiant, of course. But, who else will be involved in your ceremony? What roles will your bridal party play in the ceremony? Will they stand the entire time on either side of you or will they sit in the front row? Are there any additional tasks you need to assign them (like holding bouquets or rings)? Beyond bridesmaids and groomsmen, consider how you might incorporate other important people into your ceremony. Perhaps you’ll have two parents light the individual candles ahead of the unity ceremony or ask a close friend to do a reading.

7. The Physical Elements.

Think about what types of physical elements to include in your ceremony. Will you get married under a chuppah or wedding canopy? If so, plan ahead to secure the purchase or rental of one along with any additional components, like silk draping or an additional floral display. Don’t forget to confirm the logistics of delivery, set up, and break down. Then, there are the smaller things such as an aisle runner, a microphone, and a table for the unity ceremony. Many items like candles, chairs for your musicians, programs, as well as a card box may seem like small details that can be figured out last minute, but those small details can add up to big headaches when you’re trying to take care of them the week of your wedding. Get ahead of it by making a list early on, checking off when you acquire the items, and then delegating the plan to get each piece to the ceremony on time.

 

Written by Emma Sarran Webster

The Dish on Wedding Registries

Setting up the wedding gift registry might be every engaged couple’s single favorite part of wedding planning. Except, maybe, for cake tasting! And honestly, who can blame you? You’re basically shopping for all those splurge-worthy items you have always wanted but never really needed, without actually spending any money yourself. Plus, if you rock it old school (aka: actually register for gifts in a store, in person) you get to use one of those super-fun barcode scanners. If you’ve never done this before, wielding a barcode scanner comes with a surprisingly exhilarating sense of power, use it wisely.

But like every other element of wedding planning and prep, setting up your wedding registry comes with its fair share of etiquette, and some helpful guidance to go with it. Here are seven things to keep in mind while setting up your wedding registry – guaranteed to keep you and your gift-giving guests happy.

1. Choose Your Price Points Mindfully.

Before you even start to put together that gift registry, really think about who you’re inviting to your wedding, and plan your wish list accordingly. Be sure to have a few big-ticket items for those folks who you know are going to want to splurge on you, while also being courteous of anyone like your old college roommate and those co-workers still paying off student loans who might be operating with a more modest budget. The bulk of your registry items should fall somewhere in the middle of your highest price point
and your lowest – and a good rule of thumb is to expect guests to spend around the same amount of dough as you are budgeting per-head for your Big Day, give or take.

2. Consider Exactly The Kind of Wedding You’re Having.

Naturally, if most of your guests live locally and will have minimal travel expenses, they’re going to have more to offer in the gift-giving department. If you are asking your guests to venture across the country – or even around the world – to attend your (undoubtedly, fabulous) destination wedding, keep that in mind when you’re registering for gifts. Make sure your expectations take into account what your gracious guests will already be spending just to attend your wedding – both in travel costs and in any time they might need to take away from work. Also make sure you set up your registry so that everything is delivered directly to your home address (or wherever you want all your gifts to go). No one wants to transport a Crock-Pot across 3,000 miles, only to have you transport it right back.

3. Try To Keep That Registry As Organized As Possible.

I once gifted a soon-to-be-wedded girlfriend a dozen napkin rings, 18 napkins, 6 place settings in one pattern, 3 place settings in another, a soup ladle, and the lid to a butter dish. This was not by design. The folks who had gotten to her registry before me had completely ransacked it – buying a couple of plates here, a few table linens there, a butter dish (sans lid), without any rhyme or reason that I could discern, based on the chaos that was left behind. Now, I understand if you’re registering at one of those housewares stores where everything comes with its own barcode, it can be hard to keep your registry orderly. (Plus, nobody wants to stress over being their own gift registry police when they’ve got an entire wedding to finish planning). But, if possible, try to register for things in sets, and try to refrain from constantly editing the items on your registry throughout your engagement. It makes things very confusing (and unnecessarily embarrassing – see personal anecdote above) for your guests. Particularly those of us who are not especially adept at wrapping one half of a butter dish.

4. Know Yourself (And Your Fiancé).

I speak from experience when I say if you have never, ever, felt the impulse to bake homemade bread in your life, marriage is not going to change that about you. Not now, probably not ever. Do not feel like you must register for items you will never use, just because it is a classic registry gift. Should you register for a bread maker and then actually receive one, you will most likely attempt to make said bread exactly one time, before you realize two things: 1.) you are not all that interested in baking homemade bread and 2.) you have now made it entirely impossible to return your shiny, brand new bread maker for something you will actually use and love. If the person who gifted you the bread maker is someone who regularly spends time at your house, you will be obligated to pull the bread maker out of the back of your pantry and place it on your kitchen counter every single time they come over. And bread makers, for anyone who hasn’t spent a lot of time moving them to and fro, are notoriously heavy. Know yourself, register for things you will actually use.

5. But Don’t Be Afraid To Treat Yourself, Either.

If you’ve always been interested in, say, brewing your own beer (or, you know, actually baking your own bread) then, by all means, your wedding registry is the opportunity to treat yourself to the pricier items you have had your eye on – with the added benefit of someone else’s budget.

6. Think Outside The Box.

…The gift box, that is. Although receiving eight blenders and a stash of sterling silver candlesticks you will (probably) never use has practically become the stuff of wedding cliché, that doesn’t mean you’re limited to filling your registry with items that can fit inside a standard gift box. Consider registering for experiences instead of, or in addition to, items to stock your home. Looking to take some of the financial stress out of your honeymoon? You might want to set up a fundraising page and ask your guests to contribute to your travel budget. You can make “experiential gifting” feel a little more personal than just writing a check by inviting your guests to put together a few fun date night goodie
bags for you and your new spouse. Instead of adding everything and the kitchen sink to your registry, you can also put together a shorter list of bigger ticket items (think camping gear, a couples’ wine tasting class, his-and-hers surfboards, etc.) and make sure your guests know they can pool their giving towards one larger item or experience
for the two of you. At the end of the day, your guests just want to give you something you’ll both love.

7. Pay It Forward.

Have everything you could ever need and want, and a comfortable travel budget to boot? Consider using your wedding registry to pay your own hard work and good fortune forward. If there’s a charity you and your soon-to-be-wedded love, or a nonprofit near and dear to your hearts, invite your guests to make a donation in your names, in lieu of gifts. Giving back is definitely a great way to celebrate your new life together.

Written by E. Ce Miller

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t DIY Your Wedding

Written by Jennifer Matteo, Jennifer Matteo Event Planning

Let’s be real, who wants to run around on their wedding day feeling crazy, stressed and most likely remembering you forgot something along the way and you have no idea how to fix it?  THIS is exactly why NOT to DIY your wedding. Your wedding day morning should be full with bride tribes and mimosa merriment while feeling totally pampered by the beauty pros who are making you oh-so-fabulous for your big reveal.

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Everything You Need to Know About Pop-Up Weddings

Written by Beth Boelter, Owner and Creative Stylist and Planner, The Loft of Elements Preserved and Elements Preserved Vintage Rental

A rather new and exciting option for couples wanting to get married without breaking the bank is a pop-up wedding. But, is it the right choice for you? Here’s a little summary on what pop-up weddings are all about and why they just may be what you’re looking for to celebrate your best day ever without the stress of the whole planning process of a traditional wedding.

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Top Questions to Ask Your Venue

1. Is My Date Available?

This one may seem obvious, but it is the first and most important question to ask. Many couples desire a specific date because it has significant meaning to them as a couple, or they are trying to coordinate the date with their church. However, if your date is flexible, available options will likely open up.

2. What is Your Maximum Capacity?

It is extremely important to have an idea of your guest count. You do not want to fall in love with a venue that is too small to host all of your guests. On the other hand, you do not want your venue space to swallow you up, making your wedding look unattended. Finding that happy medium in your venue is a top priority.

3. What is Included in the Total Cost?

Learning all of the details associated with your event space is key. One venue may offer affordable food and beverage rates but ask you to rent chairs, linens, and flatware. While another venue will include those items but require you to purchase a premium bar package. Determine if tax, gratuity, and service charges are included in the total cost. Be sure to read every line of the fine print to avoid unexpected charges.

4. What is the Back-up Plan in the Case of Inclement Weather?

When it comes to Chicago weather, most couple’s agree that a plan B is essential. Inclement weather can include scorching heat one day and downpour rain and sixty degrees the next. Even a tented reception needs a back-up plan; no tent can withstand flooding and extreme heat. Be sure to be ready for what Mother Nature serves up.

5. Could There be any Issues with Accessibility?

Acquire information on any critical accessibility issues with your space. Your desired venue should have ramps and elevators for wheelchairs and strollers. Everyone should have easy access to your wedding while feeling safe and welcome at your celebration.

Expect the Unexpected

Written by Stephanie Seija | Photography by TWA Photographic Artists

Mishaps can and do happen before (and even during) any wedding celebration. Even the most organized couple is bound to run into unexpected hurdles! Throw in an unprecedented global pandemic and there’s no escaping it — you’ll most likely have to overcome challenges on your road to the altar. So like any good crisis manager, it’s time to prepare for every problem you can see coming, and plan for how you’ll deal with it.

If you start to feel overwhelmed by the unknown, don’t panic. You’re not alone. Take a breather, trust your vendors and remember that no matter what, your day will be perfect, because it’s the day you get to “officially” commit to your significant other forever. Nothing — not even a few hiccups — can tarnish the joy in marrying the love of your life!

HIRE A WEDDING CONSULTANT

Hiring a wedding consultant is more important now than ever. The perfect wedding planner not only helps you flesh out your vision during the planning process, but they know exactly how to make that dream a reality. They’ve helped create hundreds of beautiful weddings, so they’ve seen the potential roadblocks and know how to prevent them. With their expertise, they are perfectly positioned to keep all the moving parts in sync so that you don’t have to sweat the small stuff.

Great consultants are not only organizational wizards, but their goal is to make you feel at ease. They’ll get to know your family and your wedding party so that they can make sure everyone is where they’re supposed to be on the big day. The right planner will make sure to connect with your other vendors so they’re able to facilitate payments and communication. Of all your vendors, they know you the best, and they’ll keep you cool, calm and collected no matter what. Your wedding day goes by in the blink of an eye, so enjoy it and rest easy knowing that your planner has taken care of every detail.

Wedding consultants always go above and beyond, but these unpredictable times really allow them to shine. Do you suddenly need to downsize your wedding or change dates? Great planners know the business, they know your vendors (and others who can step in if an emergency arises) and they are ready to work tirelessly on your behalf to make sure nothing is overlooked. For times of crisis, you don’t want to be left to navigate changing plans without their help.

KNOW YOUR VENUE

You’ll soon realize that the event manager at your venue is going to be one of your main “point people.” Your venue is the canvas for the rest of the incredible elements you’re bringing together, and it can inspire your entire wedding aesthetic. Many of your other plans will depend on the possibilities your event space has to offer, so working and getting along with the venue manager is key to having a smooth and effortless day.

It’s important to ask your venue’s coordinator any questions you can think of, no matter how silly they may seem. Are sparklers allowed on the grounds? Where exactly can guests park? Is there a secure place to stash my emergency bag? How early can my vendors set up? Who should my vendors contact with questions? Can we hang things from the ceilings? Are candles with real flames allowed? Communicating early and often with your venue team will help with all your other decisions and put your mind at ease.

GATHER YOUR DREAM TEAM

When searching for vendors like the perfect florist or caterer, you’ll want to look for trustworthy professionals who are organized and experienced. Scour their reviews online and get recommendations from people you know. Maybe you saw an impressive vendor in action at your college roommate’s wedding — ask your friend what it was like to work with them. Beautiful portfolios are important, but personal testimonies can mean even more. Make sure their first priority is supporting their clients and collaborating to bring your vision to life.

Once you’ve narrowed down your options, contact a few vendors of each type and set up appointments to chat with them on the phone or in person. You want to see examples of their work (or taste their yummy meals), but more importantly, you want to see how you connect with them on a personal level and how well they seem to grasp your aesthetic and preferences. When you know they truly understand your vision, you can trust them to take your inspiration and run with it without you having to dictate every little detail.

Prepare questions ahead of time to ask potential vendors and make sure they answer to your satisfaction. Have they worked at your venue before? Teams who know your event space in and out will often come up with creative ideas you may not have thought of. Some vendors work closely together, like photographers and videographers or floral designers and caterers. Do any of your vendors have existing relationships with one another? Good vendors will work well with anyone, but it can often make things run more smoothly when they have collaborated in the past and know how to complement each other well.

SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

Miscommunication can lead to mishaps, but you can avoid them by setting clear expectations and speaking your mind. Not in love with your hair and makeup at your trial appointment? Indicate precisely what you’d like to look different and make sure the stylist is taking notes. Maybe you really gravitated towards one floral arrangement and particularly disliked another. Make your preferences known! Even for couples who tend to go with the flow, this is the time to be firm and decisive so that everyone is on the same page. That way you won’t have any unpleasant surprises or dashed hopes when the big day comes.

The importance of laying out clear expectations goes beyond your vendors. This applies to your family and wedding party as well. Are you counting on your brother to handle the music playlist for the limo ride on the big day? Be sure he knows exactly when and where the limo will be so he can get the tunes pumping before you step inside. Hoping your maid of honor will bring those personalized champagne glasses from your bachelorette party to your getting-ready session? Make sure she’s aware! It can feel strange to be so direct with your friends and family, but it’s not being “bossy” when you kindly communicate reasonable expectations. This is your special day, and your loved ones truly are excited to do what they can to make it perfect for you.

CAPTURE IT IN YOUR CONTRACT

Having a clear and thorough contract with each vendor is crucial to being prepared for any situation. A good contract will protect both parties from financial loss and broken expectations. Don’t be afraid to ask questions for clarity — you should understand every clause, and if something is missing, ask the vendor to write it in. There is too much on the line to be timid. Speak up!

Contracts should include the date and hours of service (usually set-up and tear-down hours are listed in addition to the “event time”), the particular job to be done (including number of staff and specific goods and supplies included) along with the pricing and payment terms with due dates. You should also be aware of any important cut-off dates, like the exact day when no more changes can be made and you’re locked into the numbers given.

Make sure everything you’ve talked about with your vendors is written down. Nothing should be agreed to only verbally. You’ll want to account for even small details in your contract. Am I expected to pay for your parking spot or transportation? How many staff dinners do you request during the reception? What happens if you get food poisoning and are too sick to do your job? What will you do if you are nine months pregnant on my wedding date and go into labor? Who will do your contracted job if you can’t — or will I be expected to find a replacement? Even if you occasionally communicate with your vendors by text or Instagram DM, it’s also good practice to keep a paper trail of email correspondence so that decisions and agreements are documented in a more formal way.

CHANGE PLANS GRACEFULLY

Many couples are paying closer attention to cancellation and force majeure clauses as large event plans continue to shift. Will your vendor refund any of your deposit in the event of a cancellation from either party? Check for a “force majeure” clause, also known as an “act of God” clause, which states that either party can be excused from a breach of contract when something totally outside of their control happens, like a natural disaster or a labor strike. Each vendor has their own understanding of what is covered under a force majeure clause, so they can be a bit tricky to navigate and may vary from place to place. While many contracts have now been adjusted to account for “global pandemic,” some have not, so you should ask directly what would happen if government protocols suddenly changed or what kind of safety measures your guests and their staff are expected to follow.

Maybe you’re making the tough decision to change your date or reimagine your wedding as a totally different kind of party. How do you approach your vendors about the contracts you’ve already signed? First of all, try to reach out to all of your vendors before you reschedule. If you’re able, give them all a few date options and see which new date lines up with the majority of your vendors (or the ones you just can’t live without). Many companies are happily accommodating date changes with no penalty to the couple or just a small fee if you must change your date for a second time.

Remember that as hard as this is for you, it’s also hard for your vendors. Be respectful and understand that any decision to push back your date means a loss of potential income for the company, so implementing date-change fees are simply the way they’re protecting themselves. If you’re completely unable to use a previously- booked vendor for your new event, and they’re not willing to let you out of the contract or refund your deposit, see if you can use their service for something else. For instance, maybe your photographer can’t make your new wedding date, but they can offer an engagement session instead.

CREATE A WEDDING DAY TIMELINE

You and your wedding consultant should create a detailed timeline of the day from start to finish. This is especially helpful when several things are happening at once, like vendor set-up and getting ready photos. Be sure to factor in travel time between events (transportation time is notoriously unpredictable) and buffer time throughout the day to account for any unexpected delays. Your mentality should be to plan for the unplanned!

Along with your timeline, you should also prepare a list of important names and phone numbers. Share it with your wedding party and your vendors ahead of time — this will eliminate needless questions and stress! Be sure that your planner or someone close to you has a digital version on their phone so that you will never be without it. If you have to deviate slightly from the planned timetable, don’t stress. That’s why you built in some extra time!

PACK YOUR EMERGENCY KIT

An emergency kit is an essential item for your big day. Think of this as your trusty sidekick in case any little thing goes wrong! Pack your kit a week in advance to be sure you’ve gathered everything you might need.

What should you include? For outfit mishaps, pack safety pins, a small sewing kit and double-stick fashion tape for fabric tears or other emergencies. A stain stick is a must for any white gown! For beauty concerns, be sure to pack make-up remover wipes, lash glue, deodorant, tweezers, a nail file, bobby pins and travel-size hairspray. Blotting papers and a back-up lipstick will allow you to keep your face fresh throughout the night. A few extra earring backs, or even extra jewelry, can be life-savers in a pinch. And don’t forget medicinal items like some ibuprofen, Band-Aids, tampons and extra contact lenses.

WATCH THE WEATHER

The weather is one of the biggest “what-ifs” on your wedding day, and you’ll never know for sure what’s in store until the day of. The only way to account for bad weather is to have a back-up plan in mind. Hoping for an outdoor ceremony? Talk with your venue about the best alternate indoor space in case of rain. Maybe you’ve

prepared a scenic photo tour for your wedding party between the ceremony and the reception. Is there another location if it’s freezing cold or raining? Scout out the area surrounding your venue. And don’t worry if things need to shift indoors — your photographer will find the right angles and the perfect lighting to capture incredible moments no matter where you are.

HAVE A PLAN B

Of course this year you’re doing your best to plan your wedding according to the new realities set in place by the pandemic. But as long as protocols and rules are in flux, you may be forced to reschedule to a new date, drastically down-size or rethink the kind of event you’re hosting. As you flesh out your plan B, pretend this is your primary plan and start from the ground up. This may feel like a lot of double work (you’re basically planning two weddings!), but it will be so worth it in the end if you choose to go with your plan B — you’ll thank yourself for the work you did ahead of time.

Your secondary plan doesn’t need to be a runner-up in terms of quality. Think through ways to make your “alternate” plan feel special so that even with fewer people or in a totally different location, you will still feel like you had a complete, perfect day. Maybe there’s no dance floor in your back-up plan — you can still have a first dance as a couple under the stars. No big wedding cake for your socially-distanced soirée? Plan for a mini cake just for the two of you to cut and enjoy in a more intimate setting. These little moments will be cherished memories whether 200 people witness them or not!

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

No matter how prepared you are, sometimes life is still unpredictable. Duct tape won’t fix everything, and when you’ve exhausted every solution, there’s nothing you can do but try and shake it off. A situation may feel chaotic on the day, but in 10 years you’ll laugh as you recount the story to friends. Plan as much as you can, then let it go when the big day comes and simply savor every moment.