10 Things To Consider When Making Your Guest List

Feature Photo by Balerina Films

Many couples are torn between who they feel obligated to invite, how many people they can afford to invite and what type of environment they want for their special day. If you’re feeling similar stresses, you’re not alone! Some of the most common feedback regarding the wedding planning process involves the stresses of creating the guest list.

To help ease this stress, here are tips and considerations for determining who will be in the audience and on the dance floor on your wedding day.

1. VENUE CAPACITY

Your venue’s capacity is a non-negotiable factor — this isn’t an area you can flex. If your venue tells you its capacity is 100, please don’t assume 101 will be okay. Overcrowding can lead to an uncomfortable experience for everyone, not to mention safety concerns. So when building your guest list, venue capacity is an essential parameter to start from.

2. CATERING BUDGET

You likely know your overall wedding budget by the time you build your guest list. So, to stay on track financially, calculate your caterer’s price per head and compare that to how much of your wedding budget you’ve allotted to catering. This will give you a clear idea of how many people you can afford to host, regardless of venue capacity.

3. TIERS OF GUEST

Divide your potential guests into tiers: Must Have (immediate family and close friends), Love to Have (extended family and acquaintances) and If There’s Space (coworkers and parents’ friends). Start building your guest list with the Must Haves and work your way down. This will help prioritize who should be on the final list and who, unfortunately, won’t make it past the chopping block.

4. CURATION IS KEY

Don’t feel obligated to invite everyone you know! This is your wedding, you are not obligated to invite people who you don’t really care if they attend or not. Think, “Will I be sad if Jack and Jill can’t make it?” If the answer is “no” and your guest list is already tight, Jack and Jill don’t have to make the final cut.

5. ADULTS ONLY?

Early on, decide with your partner on a child policy. Part of this means considering who might be unable to attend if children are NOT invited (childcare is hard to coordinate, especially if traveling). Having an adults-only celebration is an easy way to keep your guest list slim. However, executing a child-free embargo might not be an option depending on your family dynamics. If this is the case, try setting an age limit for children in attendance; for instance, “children over age six are welcome.”

6. PARENTAL PARAMETERS

If you feel your guest list is getting too long, consider giving your parents a guest list allowance. Provide a set number of people they can invite so they don’t get too carried away and you won’t have a wedding full of people you’ve never met! If things get sticky, have an open discussion with your parents to understand their expectations and make compromises where possible.

7. PLUS-ONE

The age-old question is: Should you allow plus-ones or not? A common rule is to allow plus-ones for everyone in your wedding party, married duos, engaged folks and long-term couples. But if you have the wiggle room in your venue capacity and budget for more attendees, allowing single friends to bring a guest is a kind gesture.

The most important rule of plus- ones is to be clear about your policy, especially on the invitation’s verbiage. If you’re allowing a guest to bring an unknown date, write your guest’s name and then “and guest” on their invitation.

8. USE A SPREADSHEET

Spreadsheets are your friends! Create a detailed spreadsheet to track your guest list, RSVP status and meal preferences. This will help keep everything organized and ensure no one is forgotten. Plus, this is a great way to keep track of addresses for when you send out thank-you notes afterward.

9. SAVE-THE-DATE WITH CERTAINTY

Only send save-the-dates to people you are certain will be invited. This avoids any awkward conversations or hurt feelings later if your guest list needs to be trimmed. You can always send an official invite later, but it is much more difficult to un-extend an invitation.

10. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

Guest list stress is common, but it doesn’t have to take over your planning experience. Take regular breaks and avoid letting the guest list dominate your time. Revisit and revise it periodically as your wedding plans evolve. This allows you to make adjustments based on new information or changing circumstances. Be sure to order a few extra invitations so you can make additions with ease.

Go ahead and accept that you can’t and won’t please everyone. Instead, focus on what will make you and your partner the happiest. Don’t hesitate to consult with friends, family or your wedding planner for advice and support. Sometimes an outside perspective can provide valuable clarity.

Finally, remember why you’re getting married. The most important thing is celebrating your love and commitment, not the size of the guest list.